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Discussion
Questions
1. "[T]he image by which modern
American women live also leave[s] something out. .
. . This image—created by the women's magazines,
by advertisements, television, movies, novels, columns
and books, by experts on marriage and the family,
child psychology, sexual adjustment and by the popularizers
of sociology and psychoanalysis—shapes women's
lives today and mirrors their dreams." Betty Friedan
first published these words in 1963 when the media's
picture of a woman as wife and mother was certainly
leaving something out. Today, the media is still projecting
an image of women that "mirrors their dreams." What
has changed from the image of thirty years ago and
what has not? What is today's image leaving out? Do
you think this image will ever truly reflect the needs
and aspirations of women?
2. "The feminine mystique says that the highest value
and the only commitment for women is the fulfillment
of their own femininity . . . this femininity is so
mysterious and intuitive and close to the creation
and origin of life that man-made science may never
be able to understand it. But however special and
different, it is in no way inferior to the nature
of man; it may even in certain respects be superior."
Does the idea that women's differences give them a
kind of superiority—or at least a certain advantage--have
any currency today? In what ways do you see it expressed?
Do you think it holds any truth?
3. Betty Friedan writes: "I never knew a woman, when
I was growing up, who used her mind, played her own
part in the world, and also loved, and had children."
Discuss how the tension between work and family operates
for women today. Are the expectations of men and women
different in this regard? Have expectations changed?
When women do try to achieve a balance, what things
stand in their way? Do the scars of the feminine mystique
play a role in this issue today?
4. Friedan argues that women were choosing marriage
in order to avoid their fears about establishing their
own identity and handling the fear and uncertainty
that comes with being alone. Do you agree with her
assessment? Do you agree with the causes she cites:
Margaret Mead, Freud and sex-directed education, the
aftermath of World War II? Do you see any evidence
that women today marry for any of the same reasons?
Why do women choose to marry today?
5. "[I]t is not the strength of the mothers that is
at fault but their weakness, their passive childlike
dependency and immaturity that is mistaken for 'femininity'."
Are immaturity and dependency words that are still
associated with femininity? What are the qualities
that the word "woman" connotes today? Discuss the
possible origins of these connotations.
6. In many of her interviews with housewives, Betty
Friedan found the overwhelming sentiment was: "I feel
empty—as if I don't exist." However, as the author
continues, her interviews reveal that these unhappy
women are not trying to improve their situations,
nor are they even aware that other women are feeling
the same agony. What is the cause of their anguish?
Is society forcing women to be unhappy? To what extent
are these women responsible for their own situations?
7. "Perhaps it is only a sick society, unwilling to
face its own problems and unable to conceive of goals
and purposes equal to the ability and knowledge of
its members, that chooses to ignore the strength of
women." Was the society of 1963 sick? What problems
was society unwilling to face?
8. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the
word "feminine" first appeared in old French and was
derived from the Latin word for woman (femina). The
first definition of "feminism" is "the qualities of
females." What are the "qualities of females"? Are
they simply qualities that men do not possess, such
as the ability to bear children? If so, is it possible
for men to treat women completely equally, despite
being unable to share their defining characteristics?
If not, what is it that makes men and women different,
if anything at all?
9. Most of the text concerns the experiences of middle-class
women. How were things different at the time for other
socio-economic groups? While most would agree that
middle-class women today do not feel bound to be housewives
and do pursue their own education and careers, is
this true for all women?
10. In "Metamorphosis: Two Generations Later," Friedan
moves into a new generation, which is not as plagued
by the feminine mystique as the preceding one. Does
Friedan seem to have new opinions and thoughts on
the feminine mystique? What has changed in the space
of time between the first publication of The Feminine
Mystique and today? In light of these changes,
what is the relevance today of the original text?
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