I'm a motorist that quite
Likes a drink when he drives
Who causes the loss
Of innocent lives

I'm the guy with the pistol
Who kills your best friend
You can't really blame me
'Cos I'm round the bend

Hello—how are you?
I'm jerk of all jerks
I'm here to undo
All your charitable works
I do it quite simply by
Making mistakes
And one little boo-boo
Is all that it takes
And you're at the mercy of
Jerk of all jerks.

I'm the man that disposes
Of nuclear waste.
There's no need to worry
It's perfectly safe

In fact there is now
Every reason to hope
That if anything happens
I'll easily cope

Hello—how are you?
I'm jerk of all jerks...

I'm the leader who says
As he wages his war
That the children are not
Ones that he's aiming for

Hello,
How are you?
I'm jerk of all jerks...

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