E. Mavis Hetherington and John Kelly

For Better or For Worse

Surprising results from the most comprehensive study of divorce in America.

For Better or For Worse presents a radically new story about the nature and consequences of divorce in America today. Debunking popular wisdom on the devastating psychological and social effects of divorce, this new story will replace the fiction with the facts derived from eminent psychologist Mavis Hetherington's landmark study. After nearly three decades of research involving 1400 families of divorce, Hetherington puts forth a much more nuanced picture of marital breakup—not as a momentary event but as a life process that yields its continuing influence throughout the stages of divorce, single-parenthood, remarriage, or stepfamily life, and in diverse interpersonal contexts—with partners, children, stepchildren, and eventually in the adult relationships of the children themselves.

From her long-term perspective, Hetherington identifies distinct pathways into and out of divorce. She highlights three different kinds of marriages that predispose a couple to divorce and two that do not. She also pinpoints "windows of change" that allow some people to fashion the challenges of divorce into an opportunity. As the book follows families through the life process of divorce, Hetherington shows how women and girls experience divorce differently from men and boys; why single-mother/son relationships and stepfather/daughter relationships are the most difficult; why divorce presents a greater risk to adolescent children; and how mentoring and authoritative parenting can provide the needed buffering against the negative effects of divorce.

This unprecedented look at the underlying dynamics of our divorce-prone society concludes slightly optimistically that the news need not be all bad. While some survive divorce's effects, others actually thrive. For Better or For Worse offers readers an important first step in recognizing the obstacles likely to be encountered and the choices to be made, so that the pathway out of divorce need not be a prescribed path of dissolution but one of healing and ultimate fulfillment.

"With compelling evidence and clear 'points to remember,' Hetherington identifies pathways that show how parents and children lead healthy and fulfilling lives after divorce. Sure to become a classic in the field!" —Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce; senior scholar, Council on Contemporary Families; professor emerita at the University of Southern California

"A remarkable book, distilling three decades of Professor Hetherington's landmark research on how divorce affects children, parents and families. A must read for those considering or experiencing divorce, or those just seeking insight into the complex processes that characterize human development and family functioning." —Jay Belsky, director, Institute for the Study of Children, Families and Social Issues, University of London

"A long-awaited book. Dr. Hetherington is without doubt the world's preeminent researcher on the family processes that surround divorce. In this highly readable book, Hetherington has distilled the wisdom growing out of her many studies of the short-term and long-term impact of divorce on family members. The book is a welcome gift to families everywhere, and to those who work to sustain and optimize family life." —Eleanor Maccoby, Barbara Kimball Browning Professor Emerita of Psychology, Stanford University

"A welcome corrective to misleading and simplistic accounts of divorce. [This book] not only provides scientifically sound and wonderfully sensible guidance but dispels the myth that divorce is always negative. A realistic view of divorce in our time. Parents, professors, and practitioners as well as judges and lawyers will profit from the book." —Ross D. Parke, Distinguished Professor of Psychology; director, Center for Family Studies; editor, Journal of Family Psychology; University of California, Riverside

"Mavis Hetherington's studies of divorce are the best in the field. Practically very helpful, this new book provides a reader-friendly guide to how people can build success out of the stress and adversity of divorce." —Michael Rutter, professor of developmental psychopathology, Institute of Psychiatry, London